Many people today struggle to switch off, to truly rest. The day can feel exhausting, coffee-fuelled, jumping from one task to the next, on edge, but then at night it’s difficult to fall asleep. There is a constant feeling of needing to do more, of not having done enough, of not having enough time. It feels like a constant high level of effort is required to get everything done. It can feel like being stuck, and lead to hating or feeling indifferent about what we’re doing. Here’s Rubin Naiman, PhD, talking about the tired and wired (“t’wired”) phenomenon.
We live in a fast-paced world. If we look at nature around us, it’s true that life inolves constant movement. But part of movement is also stopping, and moving with different speeds. We are often stuck on only one speed. Our bodies aren’t built for this kind of constant effort.
One of the things I teach people in my work is to be able to fully rest, and to do whatever you’re doing without the extra effort or stress. Resting a natural ability that we all have, and something we also need to digest what is happening in our lives. And learning to do things with less effort and pressure means having more space to notice what you actually want to do.
I teach my clients what is in the way of them doing this. It could be a feeling of constantly needing to proove yourself, feeling guilty if you didn’t do enough, feeling you don’t deserve to rest, feeling that if they don’t constantly do a lot they have no value, and the list goes on. I teach my clients to notice the physical part of the experience of when they can’t rest or relax, and Iteach them how to have other options instead, allowing the body to find a more healthy and sustainable way to be in the world.